My last post did prompt a number of responses directed to my email account, as I had requested. We have in our movement of churches (the ICOC) sort of an official “Diversity Group.” Most of them took the time to respond to my article, and all were very encouraged by it, agreeing with the content as stated. All of their responses were heart-felt and very encouraging to me. I have never claimed to be an expert in this field, but do claim to be seriously invested in it as a learner and intended people helper.
One brother in the group wrote (in bold font) that what I have been writing comes across as really understanding his world. This is what he claimed to have heard me saying: “I get you; I hear you; I see you; and I believe you!” Those comments so warmed my heart, because I am trying hard to communicate exactly those sentiments to my brothers and sisters of color.
I also heard from a number of others, two of which I asked for permission to include slightly edited excerpts from what they wrote. Both of these were females, sisters in Christ, one white and one black. What they said struck home in my heart, and I wanted to share their hearts with you in this blog. I have removed some things that would easily identify them, for their identity is not important for our purposes here, but only their message. As is the case with each of us as individuals, we all have unique experiences and unique perspectives as a result.
I’m sure that their words will resound in the minds and hearts of many others, and thus they are representative of those others. They do not attempt to speak for others, and yet I believe that they do. One of these responses is found below and the other will be included in the next blog post. Please read carefully with open hearts.
Gordon, I am so grateful for you! I just cried when I read this latest blog. Thank you so much for your courage to educate. I have believed what you wrote about for years now. I have been a disciple for almost 30 years and am a white women with a black husband. I grew up in a city in the South and knew of racism, which still exists there today. I have always been a disciple who loves holding to what God says and will always seek truth. I have always loved your teaching because of your desire to speak truth even if it ruffled feathers. But that is what Jesus did and I love that boldness and courage.
I feel hurt though because the leaders of our church are hesitant to talk about these issues. It has been uncomfortable at times for me when trying to express some of these ideas to others who had nationalistic views, which included disciples in the church. It has been very uncomfortable for them to hear or have dialogue about this subject. You are almost viewed as a hater of your nation or that you must bow down to the flag of our nation. I have almost felt like it was a man-made god that I refused to bow down to. I have been doing what you encouraged by trying to start dialogue and I hope it will make a difference. I read that paper on White Fragility and it enlightened me in understanding why so many people have issues with talking about race and it also helped me to reflect on my own perceptions. I share your posts on Facebook.
Nationalism is very prominent in our church. I have said on several occasions that our nation is not a “Christian Nation” as defined by God’s Word. Materialism and this Nationalism go hand in hand. I believe God is exposing what the USA mentality really is. He always exposes sin. He hates materialism and greed, which are false idols. It is so deep within the American fibers. It will have to be washed out through the Holy Spirit in the church so that we can show the world the truth. God is using you to start the process and I am so encouraged by you! Out of the heart the mouth speaks and I see your heart! May God strengthen you for your task.
Love, your sister in the Lord
As promised, the letter written by a black sister in response to my post on “Nationalism and Racism” is here for your reading and consideration. After you finish reading what this sister wrote, I will have some concluding observations about what she has shared with us all. Please read carefully and prayerfully.
Hi Gordon!
I just read your article this morning, and I have to tell you, it was so spot on! It also came at the most appropriate time as well. I had just attended a session in another church group called “Conversations on Race.” It was put on by a group of women from a predominantly white church, who are making an effort to embrace the black race with education and understanding, through empathically listening to stories of privilege, racism, and discrimination from women of all walks of life. It has been amazing to see God work and move in the hearts of many, who have been willing to have uncomfortable conversations, cry, hug, and even apologize for what others have endured.
I am a black woman in my 40s who grew up in the projects of a Southern city. All of the schools that I have attended were about 60/40 white to black. We were never taught to isolate ourselves or to fear or stay away from any groups of people because of their color. I truly cannot remember any incidences of racism other than a few occasions of people asking me, “What are you?” They were confused about my face or ethnicity because I am light skinned. Some have said, “You don’t look black.” Most of the racism that I have experienced has been from my own people. I was picked on, bullied, and even recently told that the only reason I have my job in management was because I “look like them.” One young girl said that she didn’t think I was black, because I don’t talk or act black. In my case, I have been treated as if I am not black enough.
Although I agree with, as you stated in your article, the correlation between nationalism and racism, I also believe the other major issue is the victimized slave mentality that a lot of black people have. Yes, many blacks have been victims of racism and discrimination time and time again, and that is truly disheartening. However, these isolated incidences have formed a collective thought process so that any unfavorable thing that happens to them, when involving a white person, is because they are black. If they don’t get the job, and the white person does, it’s because they are black, not because they are not as qualified. If a guy chooses a light skinned girl over a dark skinned girl, it’s because she was black, not because he just wasn’t into her. When a black person is pulled over by an officer, it is often because they have a tail light out, were speeding or swerving, and not just because they are black. This mentality paralyzes people from embracing other races, and it evokes hatred, dissension, and factions, even within the church.
And yes, this same thought process is true for other cultures and races. After 911, many middle easterners have been discriminated against simply because of their race. I saw a video the other day of a black woman in tears because she was pulled over by a white police officer. The officer explained to her that he pulled her over because she was driving slowly on the interstate and usually people are either sleepy or intoxicated when that happens, and he just wanted to make sure she was OK. She broke down in tears in front of the officer because she was so scared, based on recent events of white officers pulling over black people.
My point is, as hard as it may be, we have to stop taking these individual incidences as an excuse to isolate ourselves from others. Not every black person is a ghetto criminal, not every white person is racist, not every cop is a blood thirsty supremacist, and not every person from the Middle East is a terrorist. Now we do have to use judgement and be discerning, however as Christians, we must die to the sin of hatred, discord, and dissension and put on love, forgive, and extend grace.
I have been a disciple for two decades and God’s Word has taught me to be intentional about reaching out to different people, having different people in my home, and loving without boundaries. Having open, humble conversations about race is a great way to be empathetic and understanding in order to embrace other cultures and make disciples of all nations. I have always been so proud of that reality within our family of churches. And I pray that it continues.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts in your article. I have shared it with some of my friends, as it may be a good aid in our next “Conversation on Race” meeting. I have always enjoyed your books and your deep convictions about applying God’s Word to every aspect of our lives. To God be the glory!
My Response to Her Response
A number of things in her well-stated response caught my attention. Although I was happy that some church group was openly discussing racial issues from a spiritual perspective, I was a bit saddened that it was not a church within our movement practicing what I have been preaching. Hopefully, we can be encouraged by their example and start engaging in what I believe is so sorely needed in our group.
Next, I found myself wondering what other black folks might be thinking about this sister’s experience in being on the receiving end of black-on-black prejudice. In a previous post entitled, “Why Think That White Is Right?” I describe a couple of related situations where a person with darker skin was looked down on with those of the same race with lighter skin. I also pointed out that this was not confined to the black population, but was found within all races of color. In the case of this sister with lighter skin tone, being looked down on by others of her race was a result of envy. Why people keep thinking that white is superior is beyond me. The Bible offers no support for such a humanistic conclusion.
I do hope that none of the readers of this blog have that sort of reaction, but I had to raise the question. The truth is that prejudices come in a wide variety of areas and none of us are prejudice free. We are works in progress, hopefully, but we must be committed to making progress. Prejudice and discrimination is ugly stuff in all of its forms.
Then, I found myself appreciating the fact that the sister pointed out both the tendency and the dangers of stereotyping others of any race or ethnicity. She summed up her thoughts in this regard very well in this one sentence: “Not every black person is a ghetto criminal, not every white person is racist, not every cop is a blood thirsty supremacist, and not every person from the Middle East is a terrorist.” We all need these kinds of reminders. I don’t like being stereotyped as a white person, a Southerner, a male, an older guy, a Christian or a preacher – to name a few possibilities that might invite stereotypical responses. And if I don’t like to be on the receiving end of such, I had better take care not to be on the giving end of it. Right?
Finally, I appreciated her positive view of our churches regarding our racial diversity and acceptance of one another. I am a “fixer” by nature, which means that I see the things needing to be fixed (in my opinion) more easily than first seeing those things that don’t need to be fixed, and appreciating them. I’m sure some are feeling that about my writing in this blog just about now! I will certainly let this sister’s attitudes in this regard stay in my heart. I do love our movement of churches, and in spite of our weaknesses and areas that need improvement (racial relations being one of those), we are the best thing I’ve ever found in a fellowship of churches. I love our racial diversity in our membership composition, and out of that love, want to help us keep improving in deepening our interracial relationships.
Many thanks to the two sisters who let me publish their heart-felt writings. Their examples and their hearts have helped me, and I pray that you feel the same. God is good!
I’m sure that this title is going to attract attention, and it is intended to do just that! However, it is only a question, right? In my next post I am going to provide some encouraging examples of white leaders who are definitely listening. At the same time, I am hearing from some of our black members who are discouraged by the apparent lack of interest on the part of some white leaders who show little or no willingness to engage in racial discussions of any type. My goal is to keep showing why we need to be engaging in more discussions. Our brothers and sisters of color are always in contact with those of their race who are not as governed by spiritual constraints as they are, and what they hear and must address is difficult, to say the least. They want to remain spiritual in their perspectives, but they need help, and if they can’t get it from fellow Christians, where do we expect them to get it? With that introduction, please continue to read, carefully and prayerfully. I thank you in advance for doing so.
Cries for Help
In my last blog post, I printed excerpts of a letter from a black sister that covered several areas within the spectrum of racial issues. She shared some of her own experiences, which included prejudicial treatment from other black people toward her. She then went on to share her concerns about how people of color can assume a victim mindset and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions without blaming everything on white racism.
I have addressed a few of my comments toward the attitudes and actions of black folks, and intend to do more of this, but so far have not addressed black issues nearly as much as I have white issues. To be perfectly candid, I think this seeming imbalance comes for one reason and one reason only. That reason is not my fear that some of my black readers may not like what I say, although admittedly they would likely find it easier to hear it from another black person rather than from a white person. That likelihood goes both ways, in that some whites would find it more difficult to hear racial critiques from blacks than from whites.
The reason I have thus far in my blog had more to say to white people than black people is because I’m not yet convinced that my white brothers and sisters are taking racial issues within the church seriously. Especially do I believe this is true of white leaders. Too many whites are fragile when it comes to having open, honest discussions with blacks. Hence, the presence of a number of articles on the web being written about “white fragility.” As promised, I am going to address this subject much more in-depth in a future article, showing what the roots of this malady are.
I received an email from a white sister who is married to a black brother, in which she poured out the pain in her heart about not being able to get her white church leaders to take racial issues seriously and address them. Their attitudes appear to be the same as many other white leaders and white church members, as they honestly say that they don’t believe that racial tensions exist in their particularly congregation. They are almost certainly mistaken about that assumption, but they honestly don’t see it. Why not?
A Family Illustration
Let’s use a family illustration. What percentage of teens in the church are 100% open and honest with their parents about their inner feelings and struggles? Keep in mind that when the biological clock hits the puberty button, their hormones kick in and set off feelings that they heretofore didn’t know even existed. They are now dealing with so many unsettling thoughts and temptations that they are literally scared half to death. Do you really think that the large majority of kids in this stage of life are going to be fully open with their parents? Most will not, which is why we are all so grateful for teen workers who are closer to their age and are only a part of their spiritual family and not a part of their biological family.
Are any teens fully open and honest with their parents about their inner self? Yes, some are, but many of these are only open with one parent and not both. Why are these few open at the heart level, the “gut” level, if you will? Their parents have managed to create a safe enough place for the kids to feel able to be forthcoming without fear of over-reactions in response. The kids who do not feel this safe will simply “play the game” and answer in ways that avoid total honesty regarding their struggles.
Hiding in Plain Sight
That is exactly what goes on with racial minorities in the church. They learn to live in the white person’s world and know how to answer without offending or raising eyebrows. Out of fear, they essentially “hide” in plain sight. Their white brothers and sisters assume that all is well with them, and in relief leave the sensitive subject of race alone. That describes what is going on in your church, to one degree or another, trust me. It explains why a number of black brothers and sisters (more sisters than brothers) have told me after hearing me preach on the subject that they had been considering leaving the church. You have people in your church who are feeling exactly the same way. You can continue to stick your head in the sand if you like, but your church is going to suffer some unwelcome consequences if you continue on this track.
Without understanding what my role was going to be when I started teaching on the topic, it has become obvious that I am purposefully raising the expectation level of my black brothers and sisters. I don’t wish to raise the tension level, but I am repeatedly saying that we must get this subject out in the open among us and help each other out because I believe it needs to be done. I simply cannot avoid the subject and I cannot avoid the resultant rise in expectations of our black members. In the majority, our white members are afraid to hear what our black members are really feeling and our black members are afraid to tell them.
White Christians – the Ball is in Our Court
This dynamic has its roots in decades upon decades of experience on the black side, and for that reason, we whites, who comprise the majority of the membership in most of our congregations, are going to have to initiate these discussions with our black members. That is simply common sense, common decency and common love. We cannot continue to remain silent and be content with staying on the surface in our relationships. Too much has happened and is happening in our society to keep the issue under wraps. The world is speaking up and speaking up just as we would expect – in a worldly fashion, reflecting worldly values. In the family of God, we must speak up with one another in seeking godly understanding and godly solutions. As I said in one of my earliest blog posts, “The Silence Must End!”
An Alarming Email
The following two paragraphs are an excerpt from that white sister I mentioned earlier in this article. She is a brave soul to allow me to share what spilled out of her heart, for those who know her will likely be able to identify her, although I have taken steps to remove as many identifying marks as possible while leaving her message intact. Please read what she said, and then ask your white leaders to get serious about this topic and help to start dialogue in your church, and please take this courageous step whether you are white or black. (My next article will provide some more practical steps to help you get started.) Read on…
The leaders asked “Well, who else has concerns? Do you have anyone else expressing racial tension?” I expressed that there were feelings but our disciples of color, I believed, are conditioned in this Southern environment not to speak up because that is how they have survived. I believe that is true also in our church. We don’t create a safe environment and an inviting environment for them to feel free to express their feelings, which means we also oppress them without realizing it.
I don’t know how to start dialogue about this, but since others had not approached them, they are unwilling to dabble in this arena. I believe that they think we don’t have racial issues in the church. They don’t see a need. I am thinking, “We live in the South,” therefore we have racial issues. I believe that our leaders are just ignorant of these issues because they are white. I even feel weird about expressing these things which have been heavy on my heart because I too grew up in the South and also have been conditioned. I love my brothers and sisters in the church, my own racially mixed family, and desire to see growth in having these needs in our church met. My family cannot be the only ones who are feeling this way. Thanks for your listening ear.
And I thank you, the readers, for your listening ears. I pray that this message will not fall upon deaf ears, but on ears that want to understand, and that driven by the desire to understand all of those in your spiritual family, you will take action. To that end I write, and pray.
I had certainly intended to follow-up before now on my last blog post about white church leaders! However, schedule creep turned into a bit of a tidal wave and I am trying hard to swim back to shore. I know that some white church leaders (and others) may have thought from my last post that I am down on them, but that is not the case. I do believe that raising awareness among our leaders about the needs I am addressing in this blog has proved to be something of an uphill climb.
That being said, I am receiving many letters and comments from white disciples who fully support and appreciate what I am writing. Sometimes I can get frustrated with the speed of progress in raising awareness, and my frustration might be interpreted as if few folks in my color category really care. That is decidedly not the case.
In my next post, I am going to share what I have seen in my home church in Dallas. We may not be the perfect model, but we have done some important things from which others can learn. However, to be very candid, I have received enough comments from my black brothers and sisters here to know that we still have a long way to go. I do believe that our leaders are definitely on the right track and wanting to keep helping us make progress. But now, we still need some more preparation in this article as a precursor to that next one.
Uncaring or Unaware?
One of the things that I hear from black friends is that their white leaders say that they just don’t see the need to focus much on racial issues because their black members (and others of color) don’t seem to be having any problems related to race. I don’t question their honesty on this in the least. They really don’t see the problem, or if they do, they seriously underestimate the depths of it. Thus, I am trying my best to help raise awareness.
Once I was in an orchard of fruit trees with a friend and he remarked how much fruit was on the trees. I thought he was kidding, because I didn’t see even one piece of fruit. He then helped me to see that although the fruit was still green and small, and blended in well with the leaves, it was there in abundance. Although I didn’t see it at first, once my eyes focused on the first piece of fruit, I almost immediately saw an amazing amount of fruit all in those trees. Sometimes our awareness level simply has to be focused and raised. That, I think, is the case with so many of our white Christians. They aren’t uncaring, but they are unaware and thus need help.
Why Are We Not Seeing the Realities?
That’s a good question, with several answers. One, some just don’t want to see because the realities of other’s pain hurts them. Perhaps I have already mentioned the conversation I had with a Christian sister that I know well. After asking her if she were reading my blog, she admitted that she wasn’t reading it and said something to this effect: “I’m not racist or prejudiced; I’m colorblind and I just don’t like talking about race.” Well, I don’t either. If the problem weren’t there, I would be so relieved – but it is there, more of it than this sister even begins to imagine. Her lack of awareness is shown in the use of “colorblind,” which many people of color take as an insult. It insinuates that black or brown doesn’t count.
Two, some don’t want to see the problem because they realize how limited in knowledge they are about the whole subject and are just embarrassed to expose their ignorance. Their fear factor is real and their level of knowledge is extremely low in this arena. They are right about that, but they are wrong about willfully remaining ignorant and also wrong about letting their fears stop them. We are all going to have to learn to humbly confess how little we know and how afraid we are to venture into such sensitive new territory – but then do it. Such honesty will lower the fear factor on both sides of the discussion. It is not unlike the challenge of talking to your children when they are young about sex. When there is a need to talk, we must conquer our fears and start replacing our ignorance with knowledge.
Three, some simply do not understand the dynamics that I explained in my last post. The problem is hiding in plain sight. White folks are hiding behind their fears of exposing their ignorance and hurting their brothers and sisters of color unintentionally. Black folks are afraid to say what they are really feeling about the world in which they live because that world is better than it was a few decades ago, especially in the church, and they don’t want to risk losing what they have gained.
As I also said in my last blog post, the dynamics are akin to how teens feel about sharing their deepest fears and feelings with their parents. Bottom line, they are afraid that total honesty would cause their parents to freak out. Especially is this true when they are unsure of just how their pent-up emotions inside them might come out. Some parents don’t always handle their children’s emotions well, especially if they come out with anger. Really wise parents who are abundantly endued with the gift of self-control would much rather their children be totally honest with them, even if that honesty is clothed in seriously heightened emotions, rather than keeping it all locked up inside.
Part of a Different World
My wife and I lived in France for six months. For two kids (at heart) from Louisiana, that was indeed a different world. We had to adjust to the ways of the French in order to function in their world. When you are a minority, as we were, you will learn to adapt to what the majority population finds normal and acceptable. We did that in spite of the fact that we didn’t like some of what we saw in that culture. We enjoyed the food a bit too much, I must say!
Suppose I had met some other American citizens and we were having an honest conversation outside a restaurant about what we didn’t like about the French culture. As we were talking, imagine that a French person who obviously understood English came near and started listening intently to our conversation. Would we keep talking about their “world” or would we likely change the subject as long as they were listening?
If you get that, you might start understanding that black folks talking about racial issues are going to change the subject when white folks start listening. And yes, this applies to members in our church. Many have told me that this is indeed the case, and I understand why. It is pretty much parallel to what I described about the same type of conversation in France. One black friend, a Christian, shared with me that when he and his non-Christian physical brothers get together, they morph into a discussion of racial issues within five minutes of getting together. When among white fellow Christians, their issues are hidden in plain sight, as I said. That is why we whitebread folks need to initiate discussions, perhaps beginning by sharing our fears and our ignorance, and then start learning what other’s burdens are so that we can help bear them.
Fears of Heightened Emotions
Most of us have three gears of communication. Level one is the very calm cliché level where we talk about the weather, sports, shopping and the like. Level two is when the content is much more serious, but we do it with relative calmness. Level three is what occurs when we haven’t developed a level two! At level three, our content is strong and our manner of expressing it is likewise strong. Those who hold in strong feelings long enough are likely to explode into level three at some point.
Learning to communicate at level two is an art form in one sense, and uncommon spirituality in another sense. It is uncommon because most of us are people pleasers and conflict avoiders. Here is the Bible’s description of level two, that uncommon spirituality:
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:23-26).
What did God say through Paul in this passage? Not to engage in arguments and quarrels with those who are emotionally out of their senses. He didn’t say to shut down the conversation or run away from it. He said to listen to the fiery talk without dishing it back, and to remain kind while continuing to reason with the fireball and not to get resentful (meaning not to take it personally). Along with that gentle instruction, you keep praying that God will help them out of the emotional turmoil that they are locked into. In this way, you can be a tool of God to help them work through what they are feeling, and to then come to their senses.
Black leader friends have told me that they are very concerned about how some black disciples might express themselves once they get started talking about race and their feelings start pouring out. They often try to help prepare their brothers and sisters of color to express themselves as calmly as possible, and they should try hard to do this. But what if that doesn’t happen in the heat of the moment? Am I going to shut down the conversation when the volume goes up, or love enough to help them work through what they are feeling? Would I help my own child (especially in those teen years) work through their pain, or would I insist on them saying it just the right way before I would be willing to hear them out? The loving parent would follow the first approach and the unloving parent would do the second – resulting in a shut-down kid whose very future might be in danger. Are you listening yet?
Venting Has Its Place!
Have you ever been out of your senses and said things you shouldn’t have said, or at least said whatever you said in a very wrong way? God knows I have – many times! I am an emotionally based guy, to the point that I have wished for an “emotionectomy” countless times. Has anyone ever turned it back on me and totally rejected my content because I was saying it in the wrong way? Oh yes, more than once! Has anyone ever put 2 Timothy 2 into practice with me? Praise God, yes, and what a difference it made in my heart and life. I remember some of those times like they were yesterday, and I will always be thankful – thankful for them and thankful to God for them.
My wife is a great people helper. I honestly don’t know anyone better at helping other women work through their emotional pain. (She helps males too, me being the foremost of those!) She listens to their pain to a point that she forgets her own. It’s called self-denial, which is the first requisite of following Jesus, as I recall. She often asks those she is helping if they want advice or just need to vent. If they choose the latter, she listens intently, no matter what they say or how they say it. Almost always, they are open to spiritual advice after venting. Theresa has mastered the principles in that passage amazingly well, with the occasional exception when her husband pushes too many of her buttons. She is almost an angel, but not quite!
Real Life Examples
I had a black Christian sister on Facebook write some things in an emotional state that she soon erased. She wrote me on Messenger, the private side of FB, and apologized. Along with the first apology came some additional venting, aimed mainly at herself, complete with some racial terminology. Afterwards, she soon wrote me another apology. Obviously she was hurting. I quickly let her know that her apology was accepted, but more importantly, I let her know that I was a safe place and that I wasn’t offended in the least by what she wrote. I just hurt with her and was so glad that she felt safe enough with me to say what was on her heart.
I received an email a few days ago from another black sister with this heading: “Feeling Hopeless in My Battle Against Ignorance.” She poured her heart out to me and it was full of pain. She recounted instances of white sisters using terminology in front of others that they perhaps thought was acceptable and even “cool,” but it was anything but. It hurt her deeply. She also described her attempts to share her pain with white sisters who got offended quickly by her honesty and by her emotional state as she shared. She assured me that she has talked to a number of other black sisters who felt exactly the same. When such instances occur, they just try to smile and endure, trying to avoid making bad situations worse.
A Jesus Ministry
After sending me the email, this second sister was very fearful, expecting me to rebuke her (her words). Of course, I wrote back quickly to assure her that I was a safe place. I told her to relax and get a good night’s sleep – to make up for the long night when she wrote and sent the email. I will speak with her on the phone in the next few days to make sure I understand her heart and the pain in it more accurately. I want to help bear her burdens. The longer I deal with this systemic racism issue, the more I understand the heart of Jesus, when he said that he came to “set the oppressed free” (Luke 4:18). Oppression comes in many forms, some of it intentional and some of it unintentional. I believe that those of us who are trying to help deal with this form of it are smackdab in the middle of a Jesus ministry.
I want to be there for my brothers and sisters of color. In the past year, I have learned so much about what my fellow Christian friends of color are really feeling. I’m glad they are opening up to me. As one brother says, he has racial demons inside, and often our conversations are quite something. He says that his wife is very grateful for me and he also says that I’m one of the few white guys that he can share with about those demons. I’m glad to be one of the few in one sense, but in another sense, the number of us palefaces who are willing to help others like him deal with their demons must increase, and increase mightily. Won’t you join the battle? Please?
As promised in the last blog post, I am continuing a series about white church leaders who are listening to the issues faced by our racially diverse membership. This series will likely consist of at least three articles, and perhaps more. As with the first one in the series, some backstory information will help us understand the needs more fully and show us how to listen and then act upon listening. These lessons are not just about getting more in touch with our members of color about racial issues; they fit other important subjects as well. We will discuss how leaders can really hear what their members are thinking in different areas, even if they are not saying it initially. We must give them an opportunity to speak, within an atmosphere that encourages it.
My introduction to the need to address racial issues more directly was provided by white church leaders in my home church, the DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth) church. Our congregation is one of 20 in our family of churches that has more than 1,000 members, and is increasingly gaining the attention of other church leaders. We are far from perfect, but our leaders are doing many things right, and this shows up in the joy level of the membership and in our growth. Thus, when the Dallas leadership has something to share, many other leaders who are in a learning mode are listening. I pray that this is the case with what I am about to share.
On July 7, 2016, Micah Johnson ambushed a group of police officers during a Black Lives Matter rally in Dallas. Five officers were killed and nine others were wounded, along with two civilians. Johnson, an Army Reserve Afghan War veteran, was angry about police shootings of black men. He said that he wanted to kill white people, especially white police officers. A series of events took place in the church that led our congregational evangelist, Todd Assad, to send out an email to the congregation.
That in turn led to another of our region leaders, Mark Mancini, inviting me to speak about racial issues in our Southwest region. Both Todd and Derik Vett, our other main evangelists, then had me deliver the same basic lesson to their regions. This ball kept rolling until my involvement in such discussions became my passion and ultimately led to the beginning of this blog. I am so grateful that our ministry staff and elders are fully on board with Todd’s very astute comment in his email letter about the effects of the atmosphere in society upon our churches: “This atmosphere can’t help but affect those of us in the church.” AMEN to that!
In rereading Todd’s initial email, I am impressed with his desire to both hear and act. I will continue to share in this article and those following exactly how Todd and our other leaders have continued to pursue ways to help all of us understand the underlying issues faced by our membership and to work on improving our interracial relationships. I am hereby requesting that leaders in other congregations (plus any members) please write me to share what they have done, and I will in turn share about those efforts in this blog. We all can help each other to help all of our church members, those of color and those like me who are white. With that introduction, let’s hear from Todd.
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
For many of us, the past week has been filled with deep emotions as a number of significant events have occurred both here in Dallas and throughout our country including Minneapolis and Baton Rouge. From killings of African American men to the retaliation shooting of police officers in our own backyard, these actions have created an environment of fear, outrage and distrust in our nation. Words cannot adequately express the feelings so many disciples from various backgrounds are experiencing. Even as I write this, reports are coming in from Nice, France where a terrorist killed 84 people and left 50 more fighting for their lives. Hatred in any form is a heinous sin. These actions have added to an environment of fear, outrage and distrust in our nation. This atmosphere can’t help but affect those of us in the church.
This past Sunday, while Patty and I were in St Louis, a brother who is a Dallas Police officer shared during the collection of contribution for the NW and SW regions. This gave the appearance of the church planning a quick response to the shootings of the officers in Dallas, but neglected to respond to the other shootings. That was not the case. The brother had been asked to share two weeks prior to the shootings. His sharing was an outpouring of his emotions because he personally knew some of the officers who died and his wife, also a Dallas police officer, was called in to work that night in the aftermath.
However, I would like to use this opportunity to bring to the forefront how some of these issues are impacting our church members so that we can have discussions to strengthen our unity. I do wonder if this was from the Spirit to bring racial tensions in our church to the forefront so we can discuss them. First, I want to apologize for insensitivity in the past in regard to these issues. A clear example occurred the week after the terrible shooting in Charleston, South Carolina. A young, white man killed nine African Americans at a church Bible study. Two sisters, who at one time lived in that area, expressed in a very humble way, their frustration and hurt because of the lack of prayer for this tragedy. At the time, I did not fully understand their pain, and probably still don’t, but I’m grateful that God has given me opportunities to grow in my sensitivity to the pain others feel.
Over the past few weeks, lives were lost in Minneapolis, Baton Rouge and Dallas; loved ones were brutally separated from their families. As our black brothers and sisters grieve and fear for their own lives and the lives of their loved ones, our brothers and sisters on the Dallas Police force also grieve the loss of their fellow officers and fear for their own lives. No matter our background, we must find a way to grieve together and carry one another’s burdens.
Galatians 6:2 (NIV84)
2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
While I have not experienced overt discrimination because of the color of my skin; I must strive to grasp the issues that affect my brothers and sisters and to fathom the emotional pain. As African Americans have died, this has added to the despair of many in the face of a systematic atmosphere of racism. It is imperative that all of us attempt to understand and show the compassion of Christ so that our brothers and sisters will never again have to feel alone.
1 Corinthians 12:26–27 (ESV)
26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
Recently a brother emailed his thoughts in a very constructive and helpful way, “The struggles of being black in America are nothing new; and we are used to living in a world in which those struggles are marginalized, mocked and doubted. So in this we learn to adapt, from naming our children to styling our hair or going to work and school, we do so cautiously, deciding what to do with our blackness. I won’t claim that for everyone this is a conscious burden, yet it still is a burden that if neglected can mean career, social and even physical death. Nonetheless; in the world these are “black issues”, and we all develop different mechanisms to be reconciled as Americans despite not being full partners in the ideals.”
I am very grateful to this brother for expressing his deep feelings, but indignant that this is the world in which he lives. I am proud that he is my brother. We are trying to navigate these deep and complex issues in a way that God will find pleasing. Given all the toxic opinions on social media and the volatile political situation in our country, it would be easy to let the world shape our views. Our prayer is that God will show us how to love so that the church can truly be a light to a hurting world.
Next week, the elders and senior staff will meet to discuss how the DFW Church can address the cultural needs of our wonderfully diverse church. This diversity is a gift from God to reach out to all nations, including those here in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. If you have thoughts on how to handle these issues, please feel free to contact an elder or a staff member with your ideas. A few brothers and sisters have already done that and their input has been invaluable. Please join with us in prayer for the Holy Spirit to guide us in all his wisdom.
Love, Todd
1 Peter 1:22 (ESV)
22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,
I am so proud of Todd and our other leaders, white and non-white, who are not only in tune with the realities involved, but desiring to become more in tune and to help all of us under their leadership to do the same. We are only a few days past the horrific events that took place in Charlottesville, Virginia. As a white person, I am extremely alarmed to know that such radical, publicly expressed racism exists in our country and extremely saddened by my increasing understanding of the systemic racism that is less public, but yet is the very root of racism in all of its forms.
I can only imagine what my black brothers and sisters must be feeling right now. I believe that God has had quite enough of the denial in far too many of our churches, a denial that this is a significant enough problem and need to address it head-on. Please listen to the leaders of a congregation that is already considered a good model in many other areas. Please let it become an example that leads you to find ways to address these pressing issues that we can no longer afford to ignore in any of our congregations. More to follow soon…
